The Perils of Help

Every Monday we have to submit a journal entry and this is my entry for today. 

The Perils of “Help”

When I selected to go to India, I knew that not only would I experience new and exciting things but also encounter challenges.

I have been challenged in my way of thinking about helping people. While I had the mindset of coming to India, to learn about the people and then to (in understanding) see in what ways that I might be able to serve, I have realized that this was a quite lofty goal. First, it takes quite a while to get to know the culture of the people you want to help and serve. I have been here for almost four months and I feel like I have just scratched the surface of how people work and think. Someone needs to be very invested and full of humility to truly learn and interact with people in the culture they live. I’ve also heard that even after living here for a while people continue to try to grasp the culture. This has been quite a challenge to my original thought that it was easy or at least easier to learn a people’s culture.

The second amendment I would like to make to my original idea of helping people is that maybe it’s not my place to help. While it may make me feel better about myself, that I’m “helping” it may be better to support the people who are doing good work here than to do it myself. After all, they know the culture, and the Indian way of doing things. Also, I might be more frustrated if I were to do it all myself because of misunderstandings between two cultures.

So, while I tried to not have the idea of this “savior complex” I think in some ways I still hold onto it. I’ve held onto it because it has given me worth as a person to see that I can “do something” that I see as beneficial. However, this may not, nor ever be the case for the people who I am trying to help serve. A question, which I have wrestled with, has been: Is there ever a place or point where an outsider’s help will truly be beneficial to the people? With the exception, that the giving of supplies in a Hurricane, or providing food for people in desperate times of immediate need can be beneficial, in the long run, the people within their own society must confront their own social issues and be the ones to change things.

In light of this, I see that as a person who cares about other people, it can also be a detriment to who I am. If I find my worth in serving the needs of others, then I’m not really finding my identity in Christ. While, Christ tells us to serve others it must be out of a true love for Him and nothing more, for if we depend on our need to serve others and what we can offer, we may fail in light of our own pride as we try to “help”.

Coming from this realization, I resonate with Samuel Johnson when he says, “the evils of dereliction rush upon the thoughts; man is made unwillingly acquainted with his own weakness and meditation show him only how little he can sustain, and how little he can perform”. I have realized my own weakness in thinking that I could change a whole lot and more of my motivation to make change. There is so much more that I still have to learn.

On another note, as Easter nears, I think of how the cherry blossoms must be blooming and I've missed home as I think about not being able to color easter eggs or have Easter dinner with my family and friends. I'm hoping we can figure out a new easter tradition here in India. Perhaps we can have some cake. It's been one of those things that has brought our group together for our birthdays and different holidays so far. :)